Musings

I borrowed the ADHD books from the library. I haven't gotten very far yet. First and foremost, I'm so dang tired, it's hard to keep my eyes open and not burning when I read. Second, the boys are home full time so who's got the time?! Third, I'm convinced that I have ADHD!! In the few 2 chapters it has been a lot of explanation of what ADHD is and what it isn't. I'm sad that I fit the bill so well and yet at the same time not completely shocked. I wish people had known about this years ago, maybe I'd be in a different place today. Better educated because I'd be more apt to pay attention to completing.

I'm not shocked because I've always had issues with school work. I was not stupid in any way. I always tested very well all through school. Even made the honor roll in the later primary years. I was so far ahead in Kindergarten that I was "set aside" while the teacher worked with the rest of the class. My mom always said that it was because of Kindergarten  that I became lazy with my school work. I always thought it was because I "knew it" already, why should I do the work? But then when I'd try to do the work I'd get it wrong.

Even a few years back, I was getting straight A's in nursing school prerequisites like Anatomy and Physiology. Then I'm in Colorado visiting my (army wife) friend while our husband are in Iraq. I'm helping her daughter do her anatomy homework, simple anatomy and it was so wrong it's not funny.

Today, as a wife and mother, I can't seem to get much done. I'm lucky to finish two tasks a day plus the necessary stuff (which I struggle with). I'm thinking it's because I'm exhausted and worn out and lazy. That's not it. I'm that whirlwind that goes through the house having to touch everything just to get one thing done.

I need to make breakfast. Well to make breakfast I need to do some dishes. To so the dishes I need to put away some dishes. So I start to put away and while I'm doing that I'm straightening out the cupboards. I find things that don't belong in the kitchen so I go put them away. Say I end up in the bathroom to put away a hairbrush. I set it on the counter while I straighten out the place it's supposed to go. While I'm doing that I should brush my hair. Well I need a hair thingy to put my hair up. There's none in there so I go look in my room. None in there so I go out to the living room. I find one in my purse. I notice a paper in my purse of an appointment I have to call and make so I pick up the phone and notice the time... too early. So I set that aside. Oh I should get dressed. Now the kids start screaming that they are hungry. I'm telling them to settle down and watch their show, I'm working on it. So I go to get dressed... I pick out half my outfit, I get undressed and now I've got to use the bathroom. I take my half outfit with me and get dressed after I use the bathroom. Kids are now bugging me more, they want drinks (yeah me too but not the kind they're asking for). So I tell them to find me some sippy cups and I'll fill them up. I go back to finish getting dressed and notice the fish, they need to be fed. The baby starts crying, Jonny took his toy away from him. I go break up the fight and realize I haven't changed the baby's diaper yet (PU!) I go look for a diaper and the wipes, might as well get him dressed while I have him undressed. I look for his clothes and find pants but where are all his shirts? ( maybe in the 5 baskets of clean clothes down in the laundry room??) So I change his diaper and put his pants on. Sippy cups start coming my way so I take them to the kitchen to fill them up (leaving the stinky diaper on the couch where I changed the stinky kid). I rinse them out and fill with water.

Ok so here I've not started breakfast, haven't washed a single dish, I'm half dressed as is the baby. Half the clean dishes are put away and it's an hour an a half since I started this whole endeavor!!  REALLY?

This can NOT be normal, it just can't :( And at this point I'm counting down the time to when I can lay down and take a nap, I'm utterly exhausted.

I used to do cross-stitch, I gave up because I could never finish a project...